A friend asked me what is all the stuff in my garage, and I answered, “Life is in my garage.” It's life stories that I've buried thinking that I may need them in the future, but much of what is in there is memories that I wanted to hide from myself until now.
I don't think I could have done the type of deep cleaning that is happening today. I've been too afraid to see my past, but fortunately for me, the way I see history changed recently.
I've had many friends help me through the struggles of uncovering many moments, many happy and some sad. Now, I'm seeing them as things that happened in my life, and they are simply stories of a time in my life, but they aren't who I am today.
I recently found wedding pictures, which I would have thrown out just a few months ago, but instead, I am keeping them, this time filing them in an organized place making them available to share with the kids at some point in the future.
I've shunned great memories that turned out not so great in the end, but now I take them for what they are worth and am separating the happy times from the negative so that I might once again appreciate the moments in life that I've cherished.
Maybe it's because I've finally come so close to finding myself at the moment and accepting who I am, and that might allow others to see me as I am, not as I want to see me.
So, as I clean boxes and storage tubs, I'm putting the pieces of my life back together in a way that's never happened before. And, I'm finding things easier after cleaning when unlike before, I'd lose things if I did any cleaning.
Putting life back together through deep cleaning is surprisingly comforting as I can paint a complete picture when I share my story.
This process is helping me to understand better how I am where I am, and will help me focus on doing whatever it takes to get myself to where I am supposed to be at the exact moment it happens.
I've got a long road to travel, but I'm finally on my way to the destination that I have always dreamt life could be.