Are you considering marriage? If so, have you thought about preparing your heart and mind for what makes a marriage truly last? Too often we focus on finding the right person instead of asking the deeper question: Why do I want to get married in the first place?
One resource that has been deeply helpful to me is Gary Thomas’s book, The Sacred Search. I wish I had read it early in life—it would have changed so much about how I viewed relationships and marriage.
Why Do You Want to Get Married?
Most people search for the “right person” based on feelings, attraction, or convenience. But The Sacred Search challenges us to think about our motivations. Do we want marriage just for happiness, security, or companionship? Or are we looking to glorify God through a covenant relationship that reflects His love?
When we build marriage on superficial things—appearance, emotions, or fleeting passions—we often find ourselves years later in pain, wondering what went wrong. But when we build on faith, character, and purpose, marriage becomes a partnership that endures through every season.
What to Look For in a Spouse
The book digs deep into practical wisdom:
- Is your potential spouse a giver or a taker?
- Are they pursuing Christ in their own life?
- Do your goals align in ways that will last a lifetime?
Instead of searching for “the one,” we should be learning how to recognize the kind of person who will walk faithfully beside us in covenant love.
Lessons Learned
I’ll be honest—I might not have walked through three marriages if I had applied these truths earlier. Still, I am grateful to have learned them now, and I believe they can help others—whether you are single, dating, engaged, or even already married.
If you are married, The Sacred Search can still serve as a tool to strengthen your relationship, spark deeper communication, and remind you of the biblical foundation for a lifelong union.
Prayer
Lord, thank You for the gift of marriage and the wisdom You provide through Your Word and godly teachers. Help me to seek relationships that honor You above all else. Give me discernment, patience, and humility to recognize the qualities that truly matter in a spouse. Strengthen those who are married to remain faithful, and guide those preparing for marriage to build on a foundation of love, truth, and purpose. Amen.