I struggled with taking the first step on the first day of the year! The struggle is wrapped around my willingness to accept I am powerless to do the right thing and that my life is unmanageable when I fail to let go and give it to God.
How am I supposed to write a blog post talking about the first step when I am guilty of ignoring the first step, wanting to jump right, and expecting this blog post to be instantly successful?
Romans 7:18 – The First Step
“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”
— Romans 7:18
There are over a thousand posts in this blog, adding to thousands of other posts I’ve written, and I still struggle to take the first step at writing the next post.
Why do I struggle? I fear writing something that is less than humble. I lack the self-esteem which keeps me from being consistent, even afraid of criticism of what I write, despite never being criticized for what I’ve written before.
The challenge is sharing my experience rather than posing as an expert or guru, which I am not. Despite being on the cusp of success, I’ve failed so many times.
Am I Good Enough
I sometimes feel that I am good enough to write, but that mental block keeps me from following through consistently, knowing that I have failed so many times.
It’s time to realize that I can’t do this on my own, that I need God to give me the words, and to trust that He will show me the path. Without Him, I will not be successful, sure to fail once again.
The best I can do is the first step, admitting that I cannot do this on my own as my life is unmanageable, and I am powerless to do the right thing without Christ guiding my actions.
Prayer
Dear Father, thank you for the challenges you allow in my life. The opportunity to learn and to overcome so that I might grow and help others to know you. I know that what good comes through me is from you and not from my own doing. Please continue to use me to do your work and to protect me from myself. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.